SLOWLY BREAKING....
Today I woke up and I have to say I paused, to say thanks to my creator for allowing me to open my eyes. As I woke up I realized just how much I am ready for this winter wonderland crap to end. {LOL} Seriously I used to enjoy the winter…the beauty of the snow all around, brisk cool air, the winter fashion. Yes I have to admit I love the fluffy coats, adorable boot and the scarf/hat/glove combo’s. Winter gear is so super adorable. Everyone is bundled to block the cold old man winters embrace. Men sporting matching Timberlands with coats and ladies of course they define the adorable when it comes to winter gear. As it should be…we are the fashionista’s of the world.
As I was saying though…I use to love winter!! Now I just wish it away. Like for real..it brings the most achy feeling in me. I believe more so than rain does. I woke up today and everything was throbbing~!! I mean from the top of my spine to the toe knuckles. Sore, sore …and more sore. I just want to know have you ever broke a bone? I have to be honest with you I never broke a bone in my childhood. EVER. I waited until I was in my thirties to break a bone. Now I know that my pain is worse than that pain.
I was tickling my husband. As we play around and enjoy each others company often. What I don’t realize is that with RA it makes my small joints VERY fragile. So as I was tickling him he made this maneuver to get away…snapping my pinky finger. I heard it and instantly knew that it was broke. As I rushed to the sink to run cold water over the throbbing digit I looked at the finger and it was bent all the way to the right. I showed my Husband and Niece then immediately she started saying Auntie you need to go to the hospital. I knew it was broke but I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I took and snapped my finger back in place. {Eww…I know. Imagine the pain I am the one that reset the bone.} I did a small splint for the finger as it pounded hard for the rest of the day. Later we went to the hospital and our suspicions was confirmed, it was indeed broken. LMBO
I say all this to say…all that pain do not add up to the pain that I am feeling at this moment. I get folks all the time that say oh you just have arthritis? I have that in my KNEE, ELBOW…ect. ect. Then they complain about the pain in that one area. I say to them imagine every joint in your body aching like that at once. Since I have been diagnosed with this degenerative disease I have found out about bones in my body I didn’t even know existed. Did you know you have a bone in your voice box? I didn’t until I got this disease. Can you imagine how a bone in the voice box aches….I know.
I say all this to say that today is one of those days that I realize that I am slowly breaking. It hurts especially more because instead of the fast break I experienced with my finger, it is a slow deliberate break. Each day I live my bones shift out of their joints. I pop fingers back into knuckle joints, crack my neck and it sounds like it is crushing vertebrae, and can even make my skull crunch under the pressure of my swollen stiff hands. I am slowly breaking….
It’s cool though because, one of my life goals is to move to a warmer climate. I need all year around hot weather. This humid air that the burgh offers and the constant precipitation that it gives way to that overflows river banks and parking lots around the Steel city. I love my city but these winter’s are getting the best of this old arthritic soul. LMBO. I will always carry PITTSBURGH in my heart.
SLOWLY BREAKING…..
I know on this new lifelong journey that I am on. I am trying to slow the progression of this disease. Exercise to build my muscles to support my weak bones. Take my anti-inflammatory medication to cut the low-grade fever I deal with and the swollen joints that don’t allow me to freely hop up and go. It’s a learning lesson dealing with this disease….all in all….my body may be breaking slowly but my soul is being renewed daily. My spirit to live a happy existence despite the pain will continue without fail.
SO PRETTY TO LOOK AT FROM THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT! Not if you have to go out in it.{I just wanted to share with you that OLD MAN WINTER is trying to stay around all the way to March 20th. WE ARE SO CLOSE TO SPRING YET SO FAR….if you have Rheumatoid Arthritis pain}
I thank all that is my ROCK. My creator, husband, family and friends are all supportive to my condition and continue to be my strength to keep on dealing with the pain, limited mobility and swollen joints. Thanks y’all for being my rock. Thanks for reading…..Pain is not going to be my master…but it is playing a part in my life. RA may drain my energy…but I can’t help but to keep on enduring because I am a fighter~!!
♥Qr♥
Queen Rella 