There Should Be A SUPPORT GROUP for Quitting $ocial Networking $ites?

It’s been 4 months since I’ve logged onto those major social networking sites.  What started out as a hiatus have turned into a out, and out recovery program.  Yeah, that’s right I SAID IT~!! {LOL}  Whenever I speak to people in person, and they haven’t been on {FB, MYSPACE, TWITTER… etc.}  They always will tell you exactly how long it’s been since they’ve logged in.  Free-DUMB? It often makes me giggle at how much we sound like recovering addicts, explaining how proud we are of our break from addiction.

I think whether we know it or not, drama is addictive.  After getting a taste of it, it’s hard to look away or stay away from it.  Daily doses of drama is often administered on these sites.  What makes it even juicier is that it’s drama from people we know personally.  You want to know who so and so is pregnant by?  Check their post, and look at pictures!  You’re curious about someones relationship status, check their page.  Or better yet, you want to know how a party went….pictures will be posted as it’s going on.  Social networking sites is a breeding ground for arguments, verbal warfare and drama.  Let’s face it.

I have resolved in my mind, that social networking sites is a great avenue for business.  You can connect with like-minded people and showcase what ever you have to sale.  Even though this a free way to get word out about your product, it comes with a high PRICE.  Accumulation of more “SO CALLED” friends, followers or associates means more people privy to your private goings ons.  lol.  Yea I know they only know what you post.  That can be the furthest from the truth.  Technology is become better every day.  Social media sites are becoming more advanced.  Other people can post things to your wall, and tag you to nonsense that you wasn’t even involved in.  Next thing you know, some other person is coming at you for something you wasn’t even aware you was tagged in.  So in my mind, I will continue to use these avenues for business purposes only.  I feel like this, “If I don’t have any business to share, then I have no business being there!”

This is not to say I’m not interested in other peoples well being.  That is furthest from the truth.  I’m looking to reconnect with those closest to me.  I want to see their beautiful faces in person, and hear their voices for real.  Words can be a beautiful thing…but on Social Networking sites, they become vague, pointed, manipulated and used to tear others down, disrespect and measure towards their own existences.  This keeping up with the Jones mentality is magnified on Social Networking sites.  I’ve come to the realization that I have nothing to prove to anyone except…My Higher Power, My Husband and of course MY SELF.  So needing to post, and show people what I’m up to every minute of every day is cut out.  WHY?  Well, for me I enjoy my sanctity, and privacy of my life.  These “THINGS” accumulated in life is just that, THINGS.  I value something that can’t be bought…and that is my relationships, and the love that I share with my loved ones.

SO I say as FB/twitter and other Social Networking is finding more, and more ways to invade your life,  WHAT HAVE THEY DONE FOR YOU LATELY?  I’m serious.  I love that saying, “If it don’t make dollars, then it doesn’t make $en$e.”  I use to log onto to Social Media to play games with family, check in on my family and friends, say hi to old friends as well as share my product with those that are interested in it.  Now I cringe at the thought of logging on to the egotistical word battles, hateful words, and racial disagreements.  This is my leisure time.  Leisure time is  described as a time for recreation.  Recreation is  leisure, leisure being discretionary time. The “need to do something for recreation” is an essential element of human biology and psychology. Recreational activities are often done for enjoymentamusement, or pleasure and are considered to be “fun“.  Since many of these Social Networking sites are no longer geared towards enjoyment, amusement or pleasure I find that my time offline have been so refreshing…and now I can say with confidence when I do have “FREE TIME”  I don’t damage my mental with the drama’s of social networking.

I’m grateful for those connections that Social Networking have helped me make.  On the same note, I do realize the damage it can and will do to many perfectly fine relationships.  Those vague, snippy, sexist, racist, provoking post that flash across the screen from others that promote drama…seeps into my mind.  I don’t want those thought processes to clog and pollute my mind.  I hate to say it, but it’s true… “Bad association do spoil useful habits” (1 Cor. 15:33)  Many may fight bible teaching, don’t believe in a higher power or want to rely on their own teachings.  That’s cool with me, I say what ever works for you…work it!  Especially if it keeps you OUT of turmoil.  I know that being on Social Networking sites was starting to bother me, when it was a high topic for discussion.  That’s when I knew it was time to start limiting my contact with the drama filled sites.

Maybe it’s time to start a support group SNA {Social Networking Anonymous}!!  I’m sure those that understand where I’m coming from will want to join too~!!  Knowing that each day, away from those sites brings you closer to those that truly want to see you do well in life.  As well as those that don’t want you caught up in the dramatics that spill out into the streets, that social networking creates.  Well thats all my wonderful blog mates… Thanks for listening and letting me share my thoughts on this matter.  My name is Queen Rella, and I’m a recovering Social Networking addict. lol.  See you in the next post~!!  I’ll see you on Social Networking sites, when I have official business to attend to!!

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Love Always,

Queen Rella

P.S. Click on this link for just ONE of many drama stories that started on a Social Networking site. Woman Killed Over Facebook Comments

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What Sky?

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It always boggles my mind when people say that they can’t do something.  I know it’s true that some things are more difficult to attain, still is it true what they say, “You only can do, what you say you can do”? I’m not perfect I have to cleanse my mind, and redirect my thoughts to keep pushing too.  Still, I love the thought of life being endless, the possibilities of different difficult tasks, that I can conquer.  All the goals that I can plant, and watch how they blossom into full beautiful roses of inspiration, for me to plant more in my life.

 

Many people have a tendency to confuse confidence, with conceited.  You have to have confidence in you, and your abilities to see your goals manifest.  So what do I say to those that say, “STAY IN YOUR LANE!”? I laugh at that comment, and keep it moving.  This is the land of the free, with liberty and justice.  If you’re not out being a outlaw, anything in life that you want to explore is your lane.  Having high hopes and ambition behind it, is a good focus in life.  Many want you to fall short of your dreams, only because they don’t have any. 

 

Getting caught up with the right people that want to see you do well.  Not because they want something from you, since they are doing well them selves.  That alone puts you in the right frame of mind, to know that your pursuing what you’re destined to do.  This is a personal journey, and a lot of times many folks will wait until you do all the work, get the momentum going.  Then instantly when success comes knocking on your door, they try and hitch themselves to your star.  I’m not talking about genuine people that have supported your dream, as well as others.  I mean the ones that wished down evil upon you, and now want to gravitate towards you.  Those folks I eliminate faster that the energizer bunny hops through the screen. 

Still setting all that to the side, I hope everyone knows it’s okay to boost yourself.  It’s important for you to buy into YOURSELF!  If you don’t, then who will?  So yesterday, you couldn’t walk 15 minutes with out stopping.  Guess what?  Tomorrow I bet you will go 20 minutes, and enjoy every moment of that accomplishment.  When I think of the world, I don’t say the sky is the limit.  I feel more like saying, “WHAT SKY?”  There is too much out there unexplored, for me to limit myself.

So my wish for you is to set your limit, and defy them too.  I just had that thought, as I watch this small business of mine, grow.  I can apply that into any portion of my life, and say,  “Never say, never!”  It’s progressive to think positive thoughts, and once them thoughts turn into reality.  Remember, to enjoy those moments…and pull out your pen to set and defy some more~!! Hope everyone is enjoying their February…into March.  At least soon Spring will be arriving, and we can start seeing the suns beautiful rays more often!  Talk to you soon!

 

Luv Always,

Queen Rella 

Winter Dreams

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Winter Dreams

I have to be honest, I have winter dreams. A cold exterior, hiding the beautiful, wondrous sight of the glory, of the blanket of solitude. Dreams come in color, sepia, black and white and grey. Although today, is the day that I choose to dream in WINTER. A lovely sight of renewal, rebirth and rejuvenation. It’s natures way of begging us all to slow down, and cozy up to the ones that deserve our warmth today! Yes, it’s me the Queen with those lovely winter dreams. {Peace be to all} Best wishes for a warm, lovely winter season. Happy belated Lovers day!!!

Love Always,
Queen Rella

Staying disconnected, to feel connected!

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Some times I take time for myself.  If you don’t feel like you can give, the best thing to do is regroup, and take some time for yourself.  That adage have worked for me so many times.  This winter in PA, is colder than a penguin’s butt!  My RA is proving to fight me all winter long. As the groundhog predicts a early spring, I’m actually praying for it.  Thats the truth, straight from my mouth!  So anyway, about taking some me time….

I tend to shy away from the social media sites, when regrouping.  It can sometimes be honestly, very draining.  When stress is a all time high, and I’m trying to come back to my middle.  Offline is where I find the MOST peace.  I think that we take for granted that these technological improvement, have made us all too accessible.  Why do we need to connect with people everyday, that with out this technology we wouldn’t see but once in a blue moon?  This technology is taking away that feeling of surprised to run into someone, that you haven’t seen in years.  When we would normally be happy to see someone, that “Oh I see them everyday online {FB,TWITTER, or INSTRAGRAM or comparable sites}” attitude, makes that actual in person encounter awkward.  Why?

Some people will put their entire world online.  It makes you uncomfortable to see them after you read about that long trip to the bathroom, that saucy romp or whatever they deem STAT or should I say “LIKE” worthy.  Other reasons are everyone is in a race, to show how perfect, or successful that their lives are.  They want to stir up drama, and cause confusion.  That’s why many times, I drop off likes to those that talk about things uplifting.  {NEVER ABOUT THAT US NEVER THEM MENTALITY}  Truth is we are all in this together.  I never believe that what is effecting your space, don’t effect me.  I feel like if we are doing good, we all good together.  THEM? Naw, if we are all a part of the human race…them, is the animals of this world.  We still find time to take care of them…..so {Long silence…}  Sometimes I wish folks would realize that they would treat a wild animal better than their own  kind.

As I was saying RA is a interesting pothole, on the road to life.  Times have come where it feels like I can conquer the world.  Other times, I kick back and look at my critics and wonder…if they got afflicted with what I have tomorrow.  Would they be able to hold their heads up and keep a smile on their face as I am determined to do?  RA tends to intensify off of stress.  Off of research, and group sites that face the same issues I do I’ve learned that meditation, and relaxing helps ease the aches and pains.  So it’s been a smooth break with heating pads, and Epsom salts…mixed with some NSAIDS.  What more can a sista do? I’ve found that with this world of technology we tend to shy away from the REAL encounters.  Those face to face interactions.  As these days get colder…so do peoples attitude.  So slowly I continue to prune my garden of associates.  “What is it that I gain the world, but lose my soul?”  Therefore if I’m being drove out of my character, I definitely take some soul cleansing time for myself.  It’s repairing, encouraging and enlightening to continue to search yourself, a ailment will humble you and keep you HUMAN. I’m taking that time to feel human again…and disconnecting is a part of that journey for me.  I’m determined to make 2013 a great year for me, and to keep on reaching goals.  Anything that stumbles me, deters me or serves to hold me back…get’s cut off.

I hope you are enjoying your 2013, and remember these social websites don’t pay you a dime to stay connected to them.  It’s not a obligation to be on it everyday.  I feel reconnected with myself…as I journey through this NEW YEAR!  It’s February already, and already I’m learning more about myself, and building off of that knowledge from the University of Real Life Lessons.

Love Always,

Queen Rella

Critical Times Welcome To 2013!

   ACRITICALONEHello everyone welcome to 2013~!! HAPPY NEW YEAR~!! I wanted to open this year on interesting topic.  We are living in some critical times~!! I’m looking forward to the new possibility’s and meeting my new short and long term goals.  Still something ran through my mind and I wanted to blog about it~!!

Criticism, whether it’s constructive or not, is it vital?  I wanted to touch on this subject because for some odd reason, many people feel it’s their job to judge the next person.  Yet, these same people want to be given the sympathy for there actions, flaws and imperfections.  It’s very concerning  the way people preoccupy themselves with others affairs.  If only they would spend that extra time on being critical with their own actions, dress, behaviors and more.  Some how these type of people have it in their minds, that their opinions is laced with gold.  Never providing anything positive, they feel their sharp tongues is the answer to another persons issues.  Let’s rewind first though.

It’s one thing to provide a answer to someone’s question.  It’s then when they ask your opinion, that you’re just providing your honest answer.  It’s another thing when you try, and publicly embarrass another person for attention.  Online personalities seem bigger online.  When offline, would you like someone to sit in your face, and zero in on your every flaw?  I’m sure you would be ready to throw blows, and defend yourself if someone disrespected you.  Be it about your style, size, breathe, greasy skin, dry skin or whatever small matter that can be thrown at you.  It’s as if manners and decorum is non-existent.   Even in the real world, you would love for a real friend to pull you to the side, to share with you a embarrassing flaw that can be corrected.  Why all of a sudden because you are online it’s okay to degrade a person in public, pointing out their flaws.

So you say it’s “CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM”?  It’s funny because the way I was taught in the professional world, constructive criticism comes as a sandwich.  It starts with a positive, layered with what “Constructive Criticism” you want to share, then back to another positive.  I know when you lead with a negative, any good that your trying to produce get’s ignored.  WHY?  Because nine times out of ten, that person you embarrassed by bluntly spitting out your so called constructive criticism blocked out your words.  No one that I know sits around like a lap dog, waiting to hear shot’s of insults thrown at them.  If they do, then I doubt they have much self respect.

My reason for bringing this up, is to shed light on the obvious.  Many question why some folks cut them off, and not want to be around them.  I’ve learned that birds of a feather flock, and I’m not in the business of degrading anyone.  If that is someone’s lot in life, if they feel as if it’s their duty to correct someone else, or should I say criticize them.  I say this to you, START WITH YOURSELF.  Anytime you feel the need to be critical, turn that inward.  No one is perfect, and I’m sure if you spend the time you do on degrading others with your so called “Constructive Criticism” on yourself,….you would see that you’re not perfect either.  Only difference between you, and that next person that get’s attacked with your sharp tongue is…they have compassion.  They don’t want to degrade you, or make you feel small around others.  I heard a great quote, “Always expect criticism if you’re doing something interesting, or different.”  That’s so very true. Many people that can’t do, criticize.  So truly I just smile at the critical ones, and hope that soon they find something interesting to do with their time.  Until then they will probably continue to criticize, and wonder why they are trapped in the same ole day to day cycle.  Poor critics, if only they had some sort of talent besides shooting out negative retorts.

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I hope everyone is having a great new year~!! I haven’t wrote in so long, and to be honest it’s because I’ve been working on so many writing projects.  I have a new Novella out titled, “Tales From Steel City”  you can find it on queenrellabooks.webs.com and I have a poetry book that’s coming out this month titled, “Royal Inspirations”  that too can be found on our company website~! I appreciate you reading, I hope your not bogged down with critical ones.  Truth is though, if you are…then you must be doing something right~!! Peace and love…and best wishes for a progressive New Year!

Luv Always,

Queen Rella

Another Mile Stone…another goal reached!

ImageQueen Rella’s Novella’s presents TALES FROM STEEL CITY {A Collection Of Short Stories}  QRN’s {www.queenrellabooks.webs.com}  Brings you a Novella that is designed to rock your soul!  (COMING SOON IN WINTER 2012!!!)

When I started in on this project, it seemed so far away that I will reach my goal.  Through determination, and love from my readers I continued pushing to put this Novella out.  Being a C.E.O. or a self publishing Author on the rise, it’s impertinent that I stay on top of myself.  Being my own boss details plenty of discipline.  Still I love to share with you that this Novella is another one to add to your reading collection.  In this Novella, your mind will be expanded as you read QRN’s own Queen Rella’s short stories entitled THR33 SID3S & THICKNESS…you also get a sneak peek into the much anticipated Novella STEEL TWINZ “Ladies On A Mission”.  In this Novella I wanted to bring out different writing styles and I got to feature Author Shayla Bryant with her short story “What Happened?”

Another mile stone for me have been reached, another goal to check off of my list.  This is still just the beginning of my journey.  I’m laying the ground work for this publishing company, and want to continue to pick up readers along the way.  I want to let you know to come through to my website queenrellabooks.webs.com and sign up.  On that website and on my official YOU TUBE channel: youtube.com/queenrella77 you can get exclusive information on contest, and book release dates!!  So with me you can reach another mile stone…of reading another QUEEN RELLA NOVELLA’s exclusive…so get ready, for a trip into the mind of Queen Rella and Shayla Bryant in TALES FROM STEEL CITY {{COMING SOON}}!!!!

Don’t forget to grab up STEEL TWINZ “Ladies In The Street” and get caught up, and ready for the next chapter!!

ImageEach NOVELLA, is captivating…and riveting….LOOK OUT FOR QUEEN RELLA’S NOVELLA’s and support independent AUTHORS and a Black/Woman owned company!!

Thanks for reading, and see you in the next post.

Agape,

Queen Rella

Change Is For The Better!! 30th BLOG Celebration~!!

Wow I can’t believe that I’m up to my 30th blog!! It’s been a while I’ve been blogging and as I share how I think.  I learn a lot as well.  First I have to say HI to all my blog readers!  I appreciate each and every time you breeze through to pick up my latest.

Next as you can see, I’ve made some changes to myself.  I cut my locks…now before I made this decision I went through some back and forth with it.  Some feel as if I have some explaining to do, MOST have embraced it and complimented me on the change.  Truth is I did this for me.  I realized that in order for my hair to remain healthy, I had to continue forward by starting fresh.  I have to say that change is for the better.  I feel so much lighter and free.  I love locks and the beautiful styles that they create.  I also enjoy the bonding experience that you get with yourself, as you learn to grow with them.  It just got to the point where it was weighing down too heavy, on my roots.  YOU GOT TO PROTECT YOUR ROOTS AT ALL COST!  SO I went ahead and did what I needed to do.  It’s been a very positive experience.

As I embark on this 30th blog, I had to share with my bloggers that change is something that we shouldn’t fear.  Fear is just another obstacle to overcome!  I feared sharing my thoughts with the world…now as I log on, I see that my readers span across the globe.  From  India to Russia, Kuwait to China…of course the U.S. and Sweden, Chili, Jamaica and so many more places!  I have found a comfortable home here on WORD PRESS.  It’s encouraging to know that people I haven’t even met, and don’t even speak my language find comfort in my words that I post.  Now, I know my calling…and that all these large array of words I use…..sheesh…is something that I should be doing.  It’s blossoming into something that I could only imagine.  So thanks again to all my readers…I appreciate you!  So don’t fear change…because honestly change is for the better.  It’s usually our own stubborn ways that continue to hold up our progress.

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SO 30 posts!!! I project to post many, many more post past this~!! I love to share what is in my heart.  I hope that it’s received with the true intentions…LOVE.  I can’t get on the bandwagon of the thinking of this 2012 world…tearing down, to make myself feel better.  It is my goal to share with the world, what I hope to get out of it {Inspiration, encouragement and genuine love}.  I won’t allow those that can’t find the words and show their green-eyed ways to deter me from my joy!  I IN-JOY writing, sharing love and speaking from the heart.  I know being just the way I am ….I will continue to be wrapped with love, care and encouragement from people seeking the same thing.  So forward I will march…enjoying the fruits of my labor….know that there is no place like home…and it’s right here…where my heart is.  TILL THE NEXT POST…. L ❤ VE~!! ❤